The Danger Zone, without the Volleyball scene

Welcome to the inaugural post here at The Importance of Semantics. We here at TIS believe it to be of the utmost seriousness to take joy and/or rage at that which is probably not all that important. To accentuate this I would like to be upfront about the inaugural argument (there are more inaugurations here so far than for our rock star leader, who looks better in black and white photos than most of the Grand Canyon to Ansel Adams). There is no reason for places that know that more than 70 percent of their clientèle will be availing themselves of the adult beverage after the sun goes down and still having one urinal at child height.
Ladies and gentleman of the world lets be honest about men, we are of the mindset that anything can be done. I will take the yoke of oppression on my shoulders to say that when women leave us alone we come up with some of the greatest ideas that have ever seen the light of day. Women left us alone and we accidentally started a fire, women left us alone and we developed two versions of a sport that involve the loser being the one who cant stand up anymore cause he has been hit in the face too many times, women left us alone and we started noticing that peeing standing up may be one of the last great advantages of our gender.
So when you give us the option of peeing in something that may have been intended for the lollipop guild or the creepier parts of the cast of Carnivale we will not turn away. Having to pee in a bar is much akin to having to take a hypodermic needle taken out of your face, you will live if it doesnt happen right away but the sooner is always the better.
We are the gender that has always chosen to ford the river instead of paying the ridiculous fee and taking a ferry. So many digital oxen have died because of our persistence that I may consider adding an addendum to the next bill in the senate to repopulate the ones and zeros of oxen in the greater digital plains. When we see the lower urinal it becomes a protest to our very manliness, you think this will stop me, have you seen the backyard at a house party?
Splash zones aside, I would think that would be a different and totally unnecessary post, these lower targets are what get those kids who field balls on the driving range hit. There are voices out there that would cry injustice for the shorter population of the world but to this I say that on the fifth day, between the fish and the fowl, the Lord created stalls.
Relax and revel in the invention of seat covers, if Band of Brothers has taught us anything, its that the greater good is always more important especially when there is more than one penis involved. As my first official act of this blog I would present to you the reader the ban on urinals under 3 feet and the call to action. Nay, the call to freedom that is urinals that make a man more comfortable. A man more insistent on going back outside and avoiding eye contact with the attendant that makes it possible to smell like Calvin Kline while still having hands like the disturbing man in Grapes of Wrath.